the urge to blog.... letting off steam...

hey guys.. i think its been forever since i post a new entry... i broke my promise to myself...

Matter no.1 going on in my head

hhaiz... am such and ass... haiz... feelings inside of me... thoughts goin through me... its all..... A HUGE MESS!!! $#@%#@$#@%$#@^$# haiz.... its not the first time like this.. but why does it happen... i'm confused... i'm like having a fight in my brain... going on everytime every hour every minute... one part says... SPM!!!! the other says... She's jz in front of u... go get her... both got their reasons... both are killin me... haiz... i'm so so so SO useless... couldn even write a proper blog.... haiz... den i start to compare myself to the others.. i found out... tat i'm jz a piece of... Sh**t.... haiz...

Matter no.2 going on in my head

the second thing is still her.... i dunno why..... its jz her.... i'm drownin myself in deep trance techno now... talk about kill joy... haiz... wish i still had tat pack of ********* wif me... haiz... den i can let off some of my steam... but i got rid of it... so.... stay healthy.... i gotta get my head back into study now... but i jz cant... haiz.....

Matter no.3 going on in my head

i cant think of anythin... o god... will u jz let me die... i'm feeling miserable... but i don wan this feeling to go... how ironic eh.... haiz... humans are always like this... they... we don wanna let go of anythin.....

Matter of frenz

frenz around me..... i tot i had loads of frenz... but i finally noe tat i only hav a few frenz i can really let my steam off... thanks guys... gonna miss u when i move to qatar... some frenz r jz to hav fun wif... in my case... most of them... i wanna b closer wif u guys... but sometimes... i jz find this wall blocking us.... not only wif my frenz....

but wif "u" also... the wall between u grown even bigger... AAAAAARRRRGGGHHHHH!!! how come i always go back to her???? call it lust... call it a way of runnin... but i jz cant get u outta my head... i think i'm really sick.... sickly in...... haiz.... i think i'll leave it here now... hope u read this and understand how i really feel... i jz wan u to noe tat this guys is officially hooked on to u...