The clock is ticking away.

tick tock tick tock,

the clock inside me ticks away,

how long will it continue ticking on,

how long is that in store for me,

all is a mystery and all is a blur,

Haiz... I'm like so dying rite now!! I have so many things on my chest... but i cant unload it... all i can do is just carry it alone... bearin the burden... its been so long since i had blog... each blog is getting old and full of complaints... busting wif words tat made no sense... I am so bottled up inside... Twas a time when i had someone who would listen to my woe... and i would listen to theirs.. but tat someone now is happier now... I noe she is... I can c tat.. I am happy for that person.. Melbourne... A place whr i am alone and new.. Its a place where i can start new.. Its hard and challenging... I will EXCEL!!! I MUST EXCELL!!!! Haiz.. so much stuff to worry about... but all i can do is worry alone... i cant say anythin o do anythin... BUT I WILL SUCCEED IN THE END!!!

Will blog sometime soon...

random rants bout life and thoughts

keeping this post simple... i think i'm going to end here... XD

jkjk... i dunno wad to write.. lets jz c wad my fingers will type out..

1. i miss school... wait... i miss the frenz in school... i hate school... XD jz like spending time wif frenz who r in school...

2. i'm growing up.. almost 18... in like two weeks and one day left... wont hav any presents this yr i guess... (i wish all my frenz are here to celebrate my birthday wif me will be my biggest present)

3. seriously lazy to update anythin on my blog... sorry my sweet daughters... daddy lazy ba... mizz u guys so so much... hehe...

4. i skipped a useless programme call ns... refer to legend's blog for details... http://xvlegend.blogspot.com

5. i'm at qatar for all those who dunno... hahaz... and for those who dunno whr it is... its in saudi arabia... dunno? go check map...

6.i'm doing nth but eat, sleep, shopping, online, eat, sleep, shopping, online, and getting scold for doing all this...==

7. wanna go to aus as soon as possible but only possible on the 9th and sch starts on the 12th.. go figure...

8. damn cold the weather... kinda like it if its nt so dry... *applying major moisturiser* skin is like a wrinkled old man... XDD

9. eating nth but dairy products and good food... XDD

10. praying for my bro to get into the A.S.D American School of Doha...

11. cant believe i got scolded by dad coz his angry at my bro... wad da heck???

12. seriously missing miri frenz.. but all in ns... and some already schoolin...

13. for those who are schooling already... GAMBATEH!!! JIA YOU!!!

14. for form 5 students.. advice from a person who jz finish it... DON FALL IN LOVE!! *regrets* and its never too late to study... but it is too late when its august.. gambateh y'all...

15. i dunno wad i'm typing...

16. new yr resolutions are:

-be a good boy( yea rite)

-study hard (hav to if wan scholarship and wanna cont in aus)

-wait for them to come and not go to them (yea baybe, hope this happens.. XDD)

-the one above put on hold till in uni

-must find better new yr resolutions

17. i'm jz bullshitting here... wad de heck.. hahaz...

18. wanna be more independent...

19. wanna learn to cook...

20. I MISS MY FRIENDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

21. i miss my miri food... gan mian... nasi lemak... roti john... etc....

22. i think thats bout it..

23. will update when i'm in the mood...

24. buh bye all... c ya in a few yrs time~~~

going back to the basics

this title may seem weird.. but its got its own meaning... to me it means finding my old self... the one i left behind.. the one that most of my "frenz" knew... ya... the old me... ppl think tat everything new is good... but i don... some old stuff are great.. for example... vintage wine.. the longer the wine the better it is... when i think bout this i realize.. i cant change who i am now.. all i can do is move forward.. i cant be my old self... coz who i am now is me... and my old self is another person... i've changed... i do admit tat... change for the worse?? o for the better?? some ppl hate me now i guess... but i've got one thing to tell them... u aint so good urself... when people change... adept wif them... change ur point of view... don keep stayin the old coot u are... change.... EVERYONE is destined to change...

ok... finished wif the change thing now... back to the basics... wad does it means?? i've told u one of my opinion... tell me urs...

when i ask a fren of mine.. wad does it means to him... u noe wad he said??

Change style of "kao lui" to the most simple style... i was like WTF??? wat kinda bullshit is tat...  maybe his life is jz bout chasing girls and stuff... but another view of mine is.....

well should i say it?? i think i should.... but wad if its also bullshit??? well who cares??? 

well my view is almost but at a different level of my frenz opinion... mine is how to make frenz...

ya... frenz... some ppl take this word lightly... u hav loads of frenz... so wat?? can u tell every bit of secret to them?? i cant... coz i noe... my frenz... some of them spill their guts out... some of them jz keep it to themselves... i respect both... but who i think is a real fren is... someone who hold no secrets wif another fren...

having no secrets between two ppl... able to laugh.. able to cry... telling ur sorrows... telling ur joy... that is wad i call FRIENDS... i envy those ppl who have real FRIENDS.. but after my high school yrs.. i did find a few.. i wil cherish them... i will love them... i am nth without them...

guys.. i thank you... for being my FRIENDS...

PARTY!!!!! 1ST OF DEC!!!

PEOPLE READIN THIS AND ARE MY FRIENDS!!! UR INVITED!!! ON THE 1ST OF DEC THERE WILL BE A PARTY!!! AT MY FARM!! INTERESTED??? 

CALL ME O EMAIL ME AT U NOE LA!!!

Distance of the heart... An e-mail from a close fren which is so tru...

though this is an old email tat my fren sent me... but i wanna share wif u guys... those who noe how to read chinese... hahaz...

THANK YOU~

Its kinda nostalgic after given de same answer by de same person... heh... but nw i'm free... i've dreamt of touchin tat bittersweet blue sky.. but through the way i fell... fell and i got myself hurt... hehe... finally a giggle... sigh.. a sigh of relief and a sigh of sadness... it overwhelms my heart... but i think its also a sign of relief... i feel a whole lot better after gettin de answer... and its like tat blue sky is moving on... and a new dawn is coming... that stone... wait.. boulder tat crushed my senses have been relieved and taken away... i c things more clearly nw... for that i thank you... thank you for teachin me how to grow up... thank you for havin telling me the truth... u'll always be my special someone... heh... my special fren... thanx....

finally my mind is free... free from all tots... thanks... thank you... from the bottom of my cold blue heart...

another post another heartache...

i guess i wont be tellin wad i wanna tell u thru msn i guess.. i can only hope tat u really will read it in my blog... my feelings.. all of it in this post... -BIG SIGH- its been like forever since i've talked to u.. but today... finally today i open tat big fat useless pipe-hole of mine and spoke to u... though there's not much point in talkin... all ur answers are flat and monotone... haiz... but it is already a big relieve tat i spoke to u... it some how blowed some of my troubles away just listenin to ur voice.. but in tat voice i felt tat there's somethin u wanna tell me.. maybe its jz a wrong guess... haiz... i also found out tat ur sick... i've reminded u always to take care of urself... haiz... maybe its jz tat i'm such a worrywart... haiz...


enough bout her for this moment and let me recap one wad i am and did durin this week...

1. missin her like missin de world
2. test... trial... killin me...
3. still missin her like nth else matters
4. listenin to how to say... emo songs... techno and deep trance
5. finally talked to her
6. still need to find out things bout her

thats all for the week i guess... haiz... my head has been like shoutin STUDY IQBAL!!! but my heart is shoutin... screamin... I AM HOOKED ONTO U!!! haiz... too different major organ functionin in a stupid useless organism...

never mind... been motivatin myself... with my msn pm... just let it go...

if u guys wanna noe wad is my pm then here it is...

If you love somebody, let them go. If they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were.

i think its quite true... i hope she'll give me de answer one day... and i hope she noes how i feel bout her... and i really hope tat she'll read these post that is meant for her... and noe wad to do...